Losing Faith
by SapphyreSkye
Summary: Myra has lost just about everything. So how far can you push a broken woman before she loses control of herself? How far until she loses her faith?
1. Our Story Begins

Disclaimer: Obviously X-Men is © to Marvel and not to me. I own Maureen, Myra, and the Pillars. Yay me!  
  
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"OW! Shit!" Maureen cursed as she leapt up from her chair and dashed to the sink of her apartment kitchen. She glared down at the offended digit as she ran warm water over it and rummaged through her cabinet for the rubbing alcohol. Unsuccessful in the kitchen, she shut off the sink and continued to search in the bathroom for the disinfectant. She pulled up the peroxide and washed at her cut. When she got tired of the stinging in her finger she set aside the astringent and went back into the kitchen. She put a Band-Aid on her finger and sat back down at the kitchen table, looking down at her half-eaten turkey sub. Her gaze flitted over to where the tiniest bit of blood still sat on the edge of the knife she had used to cut the sandwich. Maureen wrapped up the larger half of the sub and stuck it into the refrigerator, picking up the half she still nibbled on. She walked into the living area of her apartment, picking up the TV controller and flopping onto the couch, clicking the TV to a new channel. She silently ate the remainder of the sub as she surfed past infomercials, soap operas, kiddy cartoons, and music videos. Finally she reached CNN and let it sit, licking her fingers clean of the last juices of the sandwich.  
"Yesterday several mutants were attacked by a radical group of mutant haters. Four mutants were killed along with two protesters. Authorities are not pressing charges against the assailants--."  
Maureen turned the TV off with a sneer, tossing down the remote in disgust as the door opened. Myra tossed her bags in, keeping the door open with her rear as she shifted a box inside the apartment. Maureen stood up, a questioning look in her eyes.  
"What's that?" she asked as she helped Myra with the box.  
"Dunno yet. It was sitting downstairs with the mail," was the reply.  
"Maybe it's that new PC system I ordered," Maureen suggested. Myra nodded in reply and the two women pushed the box into the living room, Myra kicking the door shut behind them. They got the package to the empty desktop and began to unpack and set up the system. The women surveyed their completed task with wide triumphant grins.  
"Would you do the honors?" Maureen giggled and Myra reached out and pushed the power button. The computer began to whir and tick as it came alive. The screen flickered on and Windows began to load and the girls looked at each other again, high-fiving each other at their success. The screen stopped and the girls looked at it in confusion. Myra reached out and began to strike keys, wondering if they'd missed a link somewhere. Then the screen blinked, once, twice. On the third time it whited out. Letters began to filter onto the screen pixel by pixel.  
B-O-O.  
Everything seemed to happen at once. The windows shattered inward and booted feet landed with thuds as armed and armored men dropped into the apartment. Both women turned, looking around in alarm. The door to the apartment splintered as a giant fist crashed through it. The behemoth dragged himself through the remains of the door, followed by more armed men. Maureen turned to break for the fire escape out the window, only to be tossed back by an armored fist.  
"Maureen!" Myra shouted, running to her friend, quickly pulling up her shields and sending guards flying. She reached the still form of her friend. There was a faint pulse still beating. Body protesting, Myra lifted her best friend and tossed her over her shoulder. She turned and began running at the giant who still gazed blankly ahead. She skirted soldiers, her shields sending their ammo flying back at them rather than hitting her. She skidded to a halt as she passed into the hallway, soldiers thundering after her.  
"Yawon't. makeit."  
"Shuddup, Reeni, I'm doing what I can," Myra growled back.  
"Putmedown, I'm just slowinyadown."  
"I'm serious, shuddup Reen," Myra huffed, turning sharply and slamming into the stairwell door. She stumbled down the stairs, breathing heavily as she looked up past Maureen to see soldiers flowing down the stairs after her.  
"Shitshitshit," she began to chant to herself as she began to run faster.  
"Put me down, I'm serious too!" Maureen said at last.  
Myra kept running, flying into the first floor hallways.  
"I will not abandon you!"  
"You aren't! But you can't outrun them with me. Besides, they aren't after me, I'll be fine." Maureen began to struggle off of Myra's shoulder, sending the running girl into a wall with the shift of weight.  
"Dammit Maureen!" Myra cried as Maureen slid to the ground. Maureen smiled shakily, leaning against the wall, clutching her ribs. Myra felt nauseous as she noticed the blood leaking through the other woman's fingers. "You got shot! Dammit, why did you move Maureen?"  
"It don't matter now, get going," Maureen pushed Myra away. "I'll be fine, but you won't be, now get moving!" Myra was shoved again.  
"Maureen." Myra pleaded softly.  
Maureen smiled and shook her head with a struggling chuckle. "You worry too much, ya always did. Go and stop worrying about me, I'm a big girl."  
Still looking back Myra began to walk away, her big gray eyes wet and shining. "I'll be back soon Reeni, don't you worry!"  
"I won't," Maureen laughed. "Now get!"  
Myra's feet moved of their own accord, picking up speed as she continued to look back over her shoulder at Maureen, still leaning against the wall as soldiers began to stream out of the stairwell. She rounded a corner, the last thing she saw was Maureen struggling away from the wall.  
"Keep running Myra!" echoed down the hall. Myra froze, skidding to a halt and turning around, her breath caught in her throat. Shots rang out, a woman screamed and Myra's heart stopped.  
"MAUREEN!" she screeched, beginning to run back.  
"Keep running Myra." That had been Maureen; that had been her last wish. Myra turned again, sobbing so hard she could barely breath as she pounded down the hall and burst into the fresh air outside. Tears fell across her cheeks, whipped away by the wind. Myra turned, first right, then left, then left and right again as she fought to lose her captors. ~I won't run forever Maureen, one day that bastard and that cold-hearted bitch will pay!~  
  
**********  
  
Lorna Dane and Alex Summers walked quietly, heads together, through the hallways of the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters. The pair was discussing their upcoming wedding, debating on whether it would be indoors or outside. Both wanted to compromise but neither was willing to admit defeat. Such is the way with couples everywhere. Bobby Drake was just leaving the workout room as they walked past. His lips curled back in a disgusted snarl as he stalked towards the front door, heading out for a jog.  
He yanked the door open and pulled back in surprise. A girl stood at the doorway, haggard and dripping with sweat and blood. Her hair was disheveled and her wide gray eyes were frightened and it was obvious she'd been crying recently.  
"Please," she croaked out, sounding out of breath and exhausted. "I need help. There are.people after me, they, I--."  
Bobby shouted as the girl collapsed, crumpling to the ground, her head lolling to the side.  
"ALEX! LORNA! I need help over here!"  
The pair came down the front stairs, wondering what all the commotion was about. Alex started and rushed forward as he saw the woman loosely cradled in Iceman's arms. Lorna pulled back in shock, her green eyes wide. She turned and went to get the Professor from his study as slowly other mutants poked their heads in, wondering what had happened and why people were shouting. Annie pressed to the fore and took control of the situation.  
"Get her down to the Infirmary. She needs medical attention first, we can find out her story later."  
Bobby followed Annie's quick steps down to the medical facility, followed by Alex who had a hand to his head, in deep conversation with the Xavier and Jean as the trio (rather quartet but for their unconscious fourth member). Annie preceded them into one of the med-rooms, throwing a sheet over the metal table as Bobby laid the prone girl across it. Annie commanded the two men out so that she could examine the girl properly.  
Several minutes later, Annie emerged. There were bright spots of blood on her uniform but she was shaking her head with a rueful smile. Xavier stood waiting for her, as did Bobby, Jean, and Scott.  
"How is she Annie?" the Professor asked, stepping towards the door.  
"She's fine, absolutely fine except for exhaustion and slight bruising. None of the blood was hers, I tested it to be sure she just didn't have a healing factor or something. The blood wasn't hers."  
"Then why'd she pass out like that?" Bobby asked in consternation.  
"Probably exhaustion, like I said. Her muscles have built up a lot of adrenaline and endorphins," the human nurse explained. "Her body just couldn't keep going."  
"Robert," the Professor turned to his former pupil. "You said she mumbled something before collapsing. What was it?"  
"Something about people chasing her."  
"If she was being forced to keep running, it certainly explains why her body seems to have been pushed to the brink." Annie glanced back at the closed door. "Is she a mutant, Professor Xavier?"  
"I didn't sense any new mutant prescences on the compound, so I assume she's not. Perhaps a latent mutant. It would explain why she was being chased," Xavier mused aloud. "How long do you think she'll be unconscious?"  
"Honestly, there's no way to know," Annie shrugged. "It depends on how long she was running. The longer she ran, the longer she'll need to recuperate from it."  
"Let me know as soon as she wakes up," the Professor requested, turning and heading slowly back to the main building followed by Jean, Scott, and Bobby. When they'd reached Xavier's study, several minutes of silence later, Scott finally spoke up.  
"Who do you think she is Professor?" the X-man asked.  
"I'm not sure Scott," was the thoughtful reply as the Professor took a seat behind his desk.  
"But you have an idea," Jean Grey stated.  
"I have a suspicion Jean yes. I just hope I'm wrong," the Professor said sorrowfully. 


	2. Stalking Shadows

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. (damn) I do own Myra though. And all the other people she knows that don't actually exist. And so you know, I suck at writing action, I'm sure you picked that up in the last chapter. ^___^  
  
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Myra's eyes fluttered open and she glanced around in confusion.  
"Wha-where am I?" she squeaked out past a desert-dry throat.  
"You're in the Infirmary at Xavier's Institute for Higher Learning," said a woman who moved into view as she spoke.  
She was older, probably mid- to late twenties with blue-black hair and wide blue eyes. A warm smile rested across her face as she held out a glass of water and pulled a chair to the side of the bed. Myra accepted the glass gratefully and drank half of it in a few gulps, handing it back to the woman in the white uniform. She set it on a nearby table and turned back to Myra.  
"So, uh, who, who are you?" Myra asked hesitantly.  
"I'm Nurse Annie Ghazikanian," the woman replied.  
"Oh, well, thank you Ms. Ghak, Gazk, um."  
The nurse shook her head and smiled. "Annie will do just fine."  
Myra returned Annie's smile shyly, her gray eyes downcast and her cheeks flushed. She looked around the room as Annie asked her questions and Myra answered her as best as she could.  
"My name is Myra Stonecroft." "I don't know who's after me." "I'm not sure how long I ran." "I just don't know" was the most frequent answer to Annie's questions.  
  
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"I don't think it's a good idea Professor." Annie looked over the black-wood desk at her employer. "Myra just isn't in good shape. Her heartbeat is erratic and sometimes hard to find. I think that dealing with you or anyone else could make her condition worse."  
"Very well Annie." Professor Xavier stood and escorted Annie out of the study. "I trust your opinion. You have my permission to keep everyone out that doesn't belong down there. When Miss Stonecroft is fit by your approval, then we'll see what this is all about."  
  
**********  
  
A week passed, during which Myra's heartbeat remained unsteady, often disappearing entirely for whole minutes before flashing back rapidly. Annie was worried about the anomaly but no amount of tests showed anything. At last Myra asked her why Annie kept poking her full of needles and Annie had been forced to confess her concern.  
"Oh that," Myra said dismissively. "I've had that for a while now. Nothing's ever happened, as you can tell by the fact that I ran here from-- ." The younger woman stopped in mid-sentence, her cloudy eyes distant and damp.  
"Your home?" Annie suggested, taking the younger woman's hand in hers. Myra nodded, swallowing loudly and sucking on her lower lip to keep it from quivering. Then she smiled and lied to Annie, saying that she was fine.  
  
*********  
  
A shadow darted in between large brick buildings, pausing here and there to get its bearings. Bright eyes glinted as it peered around and surveyed the school grounds. The shadow slunk out of its hiding place, creeping up to a large two-story building that was just off of the main building; in fact it was an addition to the main building. The shadow clambered onto the side of the wall, using the ivy clinging to the brick surface to scale up to the second floor. It slunk along the thin ledging until it reached its desired destination. It turned and shimmied the window lock, sliding the pane up with naught but a soft hiss. The shadow slid into the room, pulling the window partway down to hide that it was open. With a smile full of malignant glee, the shadow made its stealthy way over to the bedside.  
  
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Xavier sat within the metal confines of Cerebro, monitoring the activities of mutant around the globe. Slightly bored and saddened by the wide-scale unrest he found, he moved his 'gaze', sending Cerebro scanning over the mansion and the adjoining complex. He found idyllic sleep everywhere. With a soft smile he reached up to remove the helmet that allowed him to reach such a wide range. A shift of movement in the corner of his eye made him pause, focusing on the strange dark spot. He'd never seen a spot so hard to see however distinctly red it was. It was as though it wasn't there. It reached another red dot, another mutant. Suddenly both dots vanished! Xavier started, astonished by what he'd seen. Mutants did NOT just disappear, not unless they had teleportation and neither dot seemed to have reappeared. He looked closer at the area Cerebro was covering. The Professor knew that mutant and he knew that she didn't have teleportation! {Scott! Jean! X-men assemble! We have an intruder!}  
  
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The shadow looked up from its observation of its target as an alarm began to whine. The pitch grew but the shadow still heard something else, something just a bit softer.  
FOOTSTEPS! Lots of them headed this way.  
The shadow leapt at the sleeping figure, knowing it had only this one chance and the odds were slowly turning against it. The woman snorted awake, looking up at the shadowy figure in fear. She began screaming trying to use her mutant powers on the being, finding them useless as hands wrapped around her throat, pressing down mercilessly on her windpipe. The woman's screams whistled to a halt though she continued to thrash against her assailant.  
Voices raised just beyond the door, the door swung open to reveal several dozen mutants swarming in the hall just outside. The hallway lights flooded into the room, temporarily blinding both figures on the bed. "LORNA!"  
"What the hell!" someone shouted. "Who the hell is that?"  
"It's her! That girl, what's her name?" Bobby started forward.  
  
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The shadow-now-revealed, stunned by the light had loosened its hold on Lorna's throat allowing the Mistress of Magnetism to push it away.  
"Myra, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Lorna shouted angrily.  
"Who the hell do you think you are asking me that kind of question you selfish bitch!" Myra shot back, flying at Lorna. The two women tumbled to the floor. The other X-men rushed forward only to be thrown back. Jean's brow furrowed.  
"She's a shielder, damn!" Jean said after a moment's scrutiny.  
"Now we find that out!" someone muttered.  
  
"Knock her out Jean," Scott commanded. Minutes passed. Lorna and Myra continued to struggle on the floor, blankets tangled up both fighters. "Jean?"  
"I can't get through the shield!" Jean responded.  
"What are we supposed to do then?" Warren demanded.  
"The Professor is on his way, along with Annie and some others," Jean said, her concerned gaze on the two struggling figures before the gathered throng. "Maybe the Professor can get through the shield."  
Unsatisfied, several of the mutants began to pound on the shield, distracting Myra and allowing Lorna to get in several good shots. Myra's eyes glowed a deep violet and her hair lifted momentarily as the shields flew outwards, sending mutants crashing into walls and furniture. With the distraction gone, Myra focused again on her opponent, glaring down at Polaris with cold stone eyes. She pulled back and landed a punch on Lorna's shoulder as the other woman shifted.  
"That's for Patrick!" The shielder landed blow after blow, each time calling out a name.  
"That's for Eire!" "Taylor! Nicole! Shona! Darren! Frank! Leena! Maureen! You'll suffer the same way they did!"  
Annie and Xavier pushed their way to the front of the crowd. Annie, seeing Myra with blood flowing from freely from her nose, rushed forward. Jean moved to warn the human woman about the shield.  
But rather than crashing backwards, Annie went right through! Had the shield come down? Triumphant, Bobby ran after the nurse. The ice- wielding mutant was thrown back forcefully as soon as he hit the shield.  
"Kurt!" Xavier called. The German mutant appeared with a cloud of smoke and the stench of brimstone.  
"Jah Professor?" he asked, his tail twitching back and forth as he crouched.  
"Teleport inside the shield!"  
Kurt nodded once and then 'bamf'ed away again. Myra had glanced up when Annie had reached the fighting pair and saw Kurt disappear. She brought the shields to within only a few inches of she, Annie, and Lorna. The blue-furred mutant reappeared, turning to look at the Professor. Myra took her chance, pushing the shields out again with lightening speed, sending the distance-hopping mutant into a wall.  
Annie gasped and turned to pull at Myra's arm. Myra yanked her arm away turning and snarling at the nurse, "Get away from me! This isn't any of your business!"  
"You're killing each other!" Annie cried out in distress.  
"That's sorta the point!" Myra growled in exasperation.  
"Why!?" Annie demanded.  
"Easy, this selfish, cold-hearted bitch," Myra pulled Lorna's face an inch from hers as tears tumbled down her cheeks. "Is responsible for the death of my whole team and hers."  
"What?" Alex demanded.  
Myra looked up with a sneer. "Didn't she tell you? You are her precious fiancé after all," she mocked, locking her arm around Lorna's head. Annie sat in a distraught pile nearby, gazing at Myra in shock. "She hates competition. Any kind of competition." She turned to the green- haired woman in her grasp. "That's why we didn't pick you Lorna, in case you were wondering."  
Lorna sobbed as she struggled against the younger woman's strength. She managed to break free and ran for the shield. Myra watched her with a face of stone; her only sign of emotion were the silent tears streaming from her eyes. Lorna reached the shield but couldn't get out and began to pound on the invisible surface, gazing out at the others pleadingly.  
"You're not getting away Lorna. Just like none of them could. You're the reason their dead Lorna, all those people. All of your friends. They're all dead! Because you couldn't stand it! You couldn't stand that we'd picked Patrick over you! You snide selfish bitch!"  
Lorna was yanked back as the shield was shrunk. She stumbled to the floor, gazing up at Myra from the younger woman's feet. "We cared about you Lorna, we loved you. You were one of us. How could you do that to us Lorn?"  
"Myra, what's going on? What are you talking about?" Xavier demanded.  
"What? She even managed to keep her deep, dark secret from the X man himself?" Myra laughed harshly. "What a talented actress you've become Lorna!"  
"Myra, this isn't like you," Annie spoke up at last.  
"How would you know?" Myra turned on the nurse, stalking towards her and glaring down at her.  
"I've watched you, listened to you, you aren't this kind of person. You're a good person!" Annie continued undaunted. Myra stopped, staring down at Annie's earnest face in confused awe. She turned and looked back at Lorna who lay crumpled on the floor.  
"You're right," Myra said at last, her voice barely audible. Suddenly the shield fell as Myra crumpled to her knees, sobs wrenching through her body. "I-I don't want-*sob*- to be like her!"  
Annie crawled forward to wrap her arms around the younger woman while the others rushed forward, crowding the room as they tried to decide which woman to help. The Professor helped make things simple by commanding Cain to help him. Juggernaut picked up the crying young woman and carried her out of the room, followed swiftly by Xavier and Annie. Xavier turned in the doorway.  
"Lorna, I want you in my office once you're ready. Only take ten minutes," he commanded. Lorna nodded frightened, before burying her head in Alex's chest, crying loudly and muttering about Myra being insane.  
  
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Cain took Myra up to Xavier's study, setting her down on one of the couches. As soon as she'd been released, Myra curled up into a little ball, sobbing broken-heartedly into a corner of the couch. Annie sat down next to her, forcing the younger woman either to accept her prescense or flee. As much as Myra tried to scoot away, Annie just kept following and finally Myra gave up, allowing Annie to clean her face and whisper soothing words to her.  
"Well, Myra, that was certainly interesting. Would you mind telling us what that was all about?" Xavier said as he sat down in a chair that Juggernaut had pulled up. The behemoth himself was seated cross-legged on the floor.  
"I-I c-can't!" she sobbed in response.  
"May I see what happened then?" Myra looked up at him startled. "I'm a telepath Myra, I can read peoples minds. May I see inside yours? I'll only do it with your permission."  
Myra looked at Annie and then Cain before nodding slowly. The Professor shut his eyes and Myra mimicked him. With heartache, Myra sent her memory back to a few months ago and slowly worked her way to the present day.  
Xavier withdrew. "Dear God."  
"Oh God!" Myra whimpered, clutching her head. "Oh God I wish I were dead!"  
Annie, shocked at Myra's reaction locked her arms around the young shielder in case she got any ideas to carry out her feelings.  
"Myra," the Professor whispered to her. Myra continued to cry uncontrollably.  
{Myra. I realize you're in pain. I know how you feel because I felt it, while you let me inside your mind, I felt what you felt and thought what you thought.} Myra's sobs began to decrease. {But you can't do this to yourself. Don't sully your hands for revenge. Would they have wanted you to waste your life away in grief and regret and revenge?}  
"No," Myra managed to get out, turning her face into Annie's shoulder.  
There was a tentative knock on the study door. Several X-mutants stood in the opening doorway, including Lorna and Alex. Myra drew herself up straight, glaring death at Lorna as the green-eyed green-haired goddess stepped hesitantly into the study, only entering because the ones behind her pushed her forward.  
"Lorna, I think you have a lot of explaining to do," Xavier said with quiet authority. 


	3. Lorna's Wrath

Disclaimer: I do NOT own X-men but I would love to.*sigh* Dreams, such big dreams I have. .. *Shakes herself* Anyways!  
  
Author's Note: This part is written in first person because it's just easier to express what happened this way. Just read, you'll understand at the end of the chapter. And so you know, Shattershield was Myra's codename at this point. That'll be pointed out in the next chapter but just thought I'd let you know that now so as to head off confusion.  
  
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I had given everything to the Clan. The Clan was my life, my soul, my heart; I did everything and anything they asked. I never questioned my orders and my orders were never questioned. It was such a happy time, back when things were simple. But Life loves to toss change into our faces and lay disaster on our doorsteps.  
Everything happened at once for us. We were getting ready to take down a major anti-mutant group. We had just arrived and were scouting the best way in when we lost touch with one of hour outlooks, Terri. She's a shape-shifter, mainly animal forms, and some hybrids. One minute she was talking to us on the com-sets and the next she was just gone, nothing left but static. We sent people to check on her. All they found was her mutilated corpse. We only knew it was her because they'd left her face perfect, not so much as a scratch on it. They wanted us to know what they were capable of doing. Patrick and I were the team leaders for the mission. Patrick said we needed to pull back and re-evaluate our options and choose the best course of action.  
I knew that if we did that, we'd just give our target more time to prepare for us and things would get even worse. Patrick refused to listen to me and the team was split down the middle. Some wanted to wait and perform recon before making any moves. Others realized it was a futile attempt and would be our undoing.  
Our bickering turned out to be our undoing. The targets had managed to sneak up on us, catching each of our guards unawares. But Weaver and Shattershield were standing guard was well, both with shields up. The assassins couldn't get to us. But we couldn't get to them either. Our shots rebounded on us. We were forced to withdraw as Weaver's shields were broken through. They'd pulled out some sort of weird electro-cannon and it nearly killed Weaver it was so powerful. Shatter couldn't stand up to them all on her own. Shatter's shields were wearing thin and the enemy kept getting shots through before she could fill the holes. We were forced to withdraw when the injured started piling up. Of the twenty we'd taken in, we'd lost four and there were another dozen injured, and there was Weaver, barely hanging onto his life.  
When we got back to base we sent the injured to the infirmary and those that were uninjured were gathered into the conference room. After a while everyone who had remained behind got wind of what had happened and came down too. Everyone was talking at once and everyone wanted to be heard and everyone was torn between Patrick's plan to wait and watch them then attack when we'd come up with a sufficient plan and mine, to attack them fast and furious and then get out, basic guerilla tactics.  
Headgame, Shona, our strongest telepath said, "We can't keep fighting amongst ourselves. We've got to come to a decision."  
Someone else, never did find out who it was, suggested that we pick one leader, one leader for the whole squad rather than just team leaders for each mission that came up. It was between Patrick and me. Patrick and I were sent out of the room. Someone later told me that Shona and our other telepath, Seer, went around the room and looked into each person's head and looked at how they felt about Patrick and me. It was going to be based on who had the most positive associations. Then it was revealed who'd won and it was discussed.  
The fools had picked Patrick! Patrick! That simpering idiot whose only power was to copy molecular structure. And they had picked him and his foolish ideals to lead them into battle from now on. They would see the error of their ways. They would no better than to double cross the Mistress of Magnetism. 


End file.
